So, this is what we did this morning while waiting for the fog to clear. Instructions in bold refer to photographs in the slideshow above (I can make cheesecake; I can’t sort out the stupid photos). I do have to apologise for the mess in the photo backgrounds, but hey-ho, it’s usually far, far worse to be honest. And at least the minxes look vaguely happy in the photos, rather than the reality of this morning which was mostly feral and uncontrollable: bashing each other on the head and throwing kitchen utensils at legs. I discarded those pics…
OK, enough. Here we go! You need to allow a few hours to make this. It only takes around 10 mins to make up, but a couple of hours to chill and firm up.
Ingredients to amass beforehand:
- Packet of digestive biscuits. You need 200g for the biscuit base, and the rest to munch on / keep your own minxes at bay
- 70g butter. Unsalted would be grand because the biscuits are usually salty, but it doesn’t matter.
- A lemon
- Big pot of full-fat cream-cheese, like Philadelphia. Yes, it has to be 300g. Don’t even think about using half-fat, or your cheesecake will be runny as well as flavourless and insipid.
- Tin of condensed milk. The 397g size. Also full-fat.
- Fruit to decorate.
How to construct:
- Line a cake tin with either greaseproof paper or one of those massive cupcake liners. I bake a lot of cakes so have these. They certainly save your cake tins from being scratched and gouged as you try to knife out the last crumb of cheesecake…
- Put your biscuits in a plastic bag and bash till they are crumbs. Use a tin, rolling pin, etc.
- Melt the butter. I nuke mine for 45 seconds on high in the microwave, but do as you prefer.
- Stir the biscuit crumbs into the melted butter very well.
- Press into the cake tin base. If you just smooth it, it won’t form a nice hard base – you have to press it down firmly.
- Chill this while you’re making up the cheese bit.
- Squeeze the juice from the lemon
- Mix the condensed milk and lemon juice in your food mixer or use a hand whisk.
- Add the cream cheese
- Whisk until it’s thick. About 4 minutes or so with a food mixer; hours and hours with a hand-whisk (about 10 mins)
- Dollop it onto the base and smooth. Chill for at least an hour; 4 is just perfect. Gives you plenty time to lick the bowl. And spoons. And whisk. And lemon juicer (?!)
- Decorate! Fresh raspberries or strawberries are lovely with this, or tinned summer fruits. Maybe sliced peaches and a shake of Amaretto? Tinned pears and a light grating of ginger? Whatever you fancy. Mr Trout went to the trouble of liquidising a punnet of raspberries then pressing the puree through a little sieve to make into a raspberry coulis – delicious!
- Devour happily and enjoy that full-fat feeling in your mouth and your tum. It feels better, tastes better, fills you up faster (so arguably you eat fewer calories than if you’d made it with the plastic half-fat stuff), has far less gunk and junk than the plastic stuff, helps you store your B vitamins better, makes your nose wet and your hair shine 😉