Diet-schmiet

My mother in law is on a diet.  Again.

I think she is like the majority of women (it seems to me) in that she is always on some diet or other.  Usually from the pages of a quality (ahem) paper like the Daily Fail.  This one involves eating nothing but protein at first, then it ‘allows’ you to eat some fruit and vegetables.  It forbids carbohydrates of any kind.

My father in law is joining her in a limited way to show moral support for her bid to lose weight before her 60th birthday, which I think is very kind of him.  Me, I’m just mystified by diets in general.  I just don’t see the point.  Surely if you feel you are too fat or too heavy (they are not necessarily one and the same thing) you just eat less and move more?  Why go through some fancy footery combination of what you can and cannot eat?  To my mind it’s a simple equation of calories in has to equal calories out or you’ll get fatter.  If you are, you have to ensure your calories out are greater than your calories in, by expending more energy (exercise) and eating less.  Newsflash: THERE IS NO MAGIC BULLET!  You cannot suddenly get slimmer by eating x% of your protein before silly o’clock in the morning, or if you always eat ‘z’ magic product with your morning snack, or if you stop eating one specific food group altogether.  You’re only going to get slimmer if you eat less and work more.  There’s no hidden secret to it.

Maybe I’m grumpy because any diet that restricts the fruit and vegetables you can eat makes me super-cynical (call me old-fashioned…).  Maybe I’m grumpy because I think that Special Diets that dictate that you can only eat x, y and z very expensive things are just making money out of gullible people, made vulnerable by their vanity and/or greed.  And before you think I’m having a poke at fat people, let me tell you that I am a greedy, lazy woman who eats everything, and enjoys chocolate and cake whenever the wish hits me.  I am a UK size 14 because of my cake-and-quite-little-exercise habit and I don’t give a damn about it.  I’m happy to trade a fashionable figure against some short-term good feelings in my mouth and my tummy.

Do you think I might be being grumpy because I unreasonably expect everyone else to be Captain Logic about diets, like me?  Perhaps.  I’ll need to mull on that some more.

In the meantime, I wish my mother in law luck in her quest to slim down.  She’s looking well on it, and weight loss will make her happy.  I just hope her insides don’t suffer too much from the lack of essential vitamins and minerals.

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