I know I call my little Midi Minx ‘Germ Vector 2’ about as frequently as I call her by her given name, but this weekend takes the biscuit.
Friday night/Saturday morning I spent elbow-deep in Midi Minx vomit. About 0230hrs Midi’s terrified wail and cough woke me up. My finely-tuned Mummy antennae just *knew* it was sick. I woke The Boss and told him to get Midi and I’d handle the rest. Thank God for rubber gloves… luckily most of it was over bedding, so a quick sponge-down of the carpet, strip of sheets, discarding of a book, replace of sheets, and good as new (except for the lingering smell… dear goodness, why can I not get rid of the bloody awful smell?) Midi howled as she got sponged down (The Boss is too scared to shower her down in the bath because it makes her claw him worse than our cat). Surprisingly, Midi’s room-mate (Maxi) snored her little head off throughout. Normally she wakes up whining, “What’s that pongy smell? Oooooo my nose! My nose!”
Me and The Boss figured Midi had been chewing her shoes again and went to sleep. Well, he went to sleep. I got up 4 more times to settle her, clean more sick off her, persuade her to drink water (I’m still haunted by her overnight stay in hospital exactly a year ago due to dehydration), and take her to the toilet when she screeched, “I. Need. A. Poo. NOW”. I praised Midi enormously for being so clever as to be sick in the bucket rather than down her trousers again (she wasn’t – I was just fast about whipping it under her chin, but I wanted her to feel a bit better).
Around 0430hrs she went to sleep and Mini Minx started up… Luckily she was just hungry.
Around 0800hrs I surfaced (customary Saturday long-lie in whilst feeding Mini in bed), and a bad bout of the runs took me a little by surprise as I felt ok. By 1100hrs I wasn’t feeling ok and was getting fed up living in the loo. By 1600hrs I’d started vomiting too. It being green with black coffee grinds, it set my hypochondriac alarm off, not helped by the ominous ache in the middle of my back that sometimes heralds the start of a gall stone attack. Around the same time, poor Maxi came home early from a party because she was tired and promptly vomited all over herself and the living room carpet (the cat just missed the splash. She glowered at Maxi the rest of the day) By 2000hrs the whole zoo were sat in the local A&E waiting for me to see the Out of Hours doctor (NHS 24). We’d no-one to leave the kids with, and I sure wasn’t getting a taxi in and out.
I explained to the doc that it was probably just a virus, given that Midi and Maxi had barfed, even though they were now right as rain, but I was concerned about the contents of my vomit: “I’ve had hyperemesis 3 times and thought I’d seen everything. But this amount of bile with so much black stuff, from a long-empty stomach, is a new one on me”. He prodded, hmmmmed, declared my stomach very soft, and kept insisting on giving me anti-nausea drugs. The third time I stated that the nausea wasn’t a problem for me, it was the pain and concern that my pathetic gallbladder was packing up on me that I wanted resolved, I got quite forceful. Bloody hell, I nearly cracked a joke, I was that adamant! He still gave me anti-nausea meds anyway and finally agreed that I didn’t need to take them if I didn’t feel I had to. Sheesh. He also recommended that I drink flat Coke instead of Diarolyte, then roared with laughter at my admission that we never bought or drank the stuff. Tell you what, that cold fizzy feeling certainly worked a treat!
So, today has been spent wobbling around (I lost 6lbs in 24 hours so have found things like going up and down stairs a bit of a struggle), with a strangely painful chesty cough. I’m doomed! Doomed! My whole body is giving up on me. Bloody toddlers and their germs! The kids were a bit sleepy today, but otherwise very well. Though Midi has 6 strange red spots on her tummy in a line, that look suspiciously like flea bites. But that’s a whole other story. And my mission tomorrow is to find a local, affordable carpet cleaner business who’ll come and sort out the orange vomit stains in 2 bedrooms and a living room that just won’t shift. And the smell. Please help with the smell…!