Gimme some drugs, man

<Sniff>  I feel very sorry for myself.  I have my 4th cold of the year.  With a pathetic cough and a sore throat.  The cough isn’t strong enough to be a proper cough – then I could properly clear my throat!  Instead it’s a little tickle of a thing.  Sounds like the fake cough baby R has affected to get attention (because we ignore her ear-splitting shrieks.  She’s clever, is this one).  And I’m speaking 20 octaves (roughly) lower than normal, when I can talk at all.  It’s not just the hoarseness, it’s because talking makes me cough.  Pathetically.

The thing that’s getting my goat is that for yet another winter the only medication I can take for it is paracetamol.  Everything you’d normally guzzle, even lemsip, is emblazoned with warnings that pregnant and breastfeeders must not take it.  Now as I’m still feeding baby R (too damn lazy disorganised tightfisted pedantic to do formula) that means that yet again I’m going to be appalled at how much pain a stupid virus can inflict, in the 21st Century!  I realise that a lot of the warnings are simple erse-covering and would, in fact, be perfectly safe for baby R were I to take them.  But whilst I’m awash with my latest dousing of Mummy Guilt, am I really going to take the chance?  Do I have the time to sit for 20 mins constantly hitting redial on the Dr’s surgery 0845 telephone number to get the single available appointment for today only (you’re not allowed to book an appointment more than a day ahead)*, never mind actually attend, in order to establish what relief I can take for my pathetic sniffles?  Non and nein respectively.

*One day when I’m not in a rush herding my zoo in and out the surgery, usually in shame, I must ask the receptionist how everyone gets their appointments.  If you’re not allowed to book an appointment in advance, only on the day, then how do all the appointments get booked up?  Example, if I manage to get through within a minute of the phone line opening in the morning, why do I inevitably only have 2 appointment times to choose from?  How did the other people fill up all the other slots?  Do they belong to a secret club?  Do you get invited to join, and thereby be able to book more than 12 hrs in advance, if you don’t see the doctor for 12 months or more?  Like a No Claims Bonus?

I hate going to see the doctor anyway unless I have something hanging off, preferably covered in blood.

Anyway, back to this evening’s rant.  I just wish I could have the information available to allow me to decide whether to take the drugs or not.  I cynically suspect it’s akin to when (effective) cough medicine for toddlers was withdrawn from the market.  It was because it was possible for a parent to overdose their child if they didn’t read the instructions.  Riiiiiight.  So the vast majority of literate, caring, sensible people are disadvantaged by sick, coughing, miserable toddlers just to moddly-coddle the tiny minority of illiterate or daft ones?  I’m no statistician, but I bet the risk of a parent crashing their car / making a huge and expensive mistake at work / being a dopey and inattentive (therefore dangerous) parent due to lack of sleep from being up with Junior’s coughing all night is probably a lot higher than the risk that they’d overdose Junior.

Similarly, what are the actual risks to my breastfed baby of me taking some over the counter cold relief stuff?  Why can’t the leaflets add why breastfeeders shouldn’t / mustn’t take it?  I guess it must be cheaper to lose all that potential custom (breast-feeding mums have kids who tend to pick up bugs so tend to get colds themselves quite a lot) than risk one lawsuit.

Don’t suggest honey and hot water – I cannot stand the smell or taste of bee poohoney.  I’m going to gargle a small glass of Benromach to kill the throat bugs.  Will I spit or swallow afterwards?  What do you think?!

3 thoughts on “Gimme some drugs, man

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