Four-year-old Mini Trout has out-grown her swimming costume, so I had to find a new one. One big supermarket chain apparently only sells children’s swimming costumes in summer; the other gave me a choice of 3 styles, of which 2 were totally inappropriate, in my opinion, for a 4 year old. Who on earth thinks that hi-legs and a low cut top with a dropped shoulder is what a female toddler should be wearing? I guess the same idiot people who design or buy toddler girls’ tee-shirts that have ridiculous slogans like ‘Sexy’ or ‘Hot’ emblazoned over the chest.
After a week of searching, Mini Trout attended her swimming lesson this afternoon clad in a very sensible, low leg, thick shoulder straps, full coverage burka of a swimsuit. (I know, I know – just wait till she starts dating…)
With 3 Troutling daughters, I expect I’m on a hiding to nothing hoping that they’ll grow up with no body image hang-ups. Me and The Boss are learning along the way and doing our very best. Example: Mini Trout’s rounded toddler tummy is proclaimed ‘a beautiful happy tummy’. I smile as genuinely as I can muster with all my acting talents when she flings herself at my 3-baby-plus-bad-diastasis-recti-and-a-bad-cake-habit belly and sighs, “I love your fat squashy belly, Mummy, it’s so yummy to cuddle”. The kids don’t know what ‘diet’ means, and fashion is a swear-word in this household.
Oh boy – we’re in for some rough times in 10 years or so…
Still, I hope to lead by example. My first day in my last job was marked with me going back to the office of some overly-macho men over lunch, armed with a thick black marker and a look-out. I only owned up to penning the moustache, beard and bikini over a semi-naked Kelly Brook calendar about 3 years later, having sniggered each time one of the guys had moaned about the ‘shocking’ graffiti. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could have had a head-to-head confrontation, but being underhand is sooooo much more fun. And effective.)